There is still a Torn

will go back to KL tmr.
dun wanna be a pig at home anymore.
plan to work.
earn $$.
can meet someone too.
.
.
.
i had made my decision.
i choose not to stay.
but i scare.
scare my decision is wrong.
getting older n much more thing to worry about.
.
.
.
a bad dream last night.
can it consider as nightmare?
dont know.
its a scar in my heart.
until now.
i still cant forget it.
although everything has change now.
but.
there is still a scar.
it will pain sometimes.
hope it wont happen in one day.
i need some promise from someone.
tho i know its impossible that the someone will say something to me.
but i still hope to hear it.
no matter its a lie or wat.
at least this make me feel secure.
im quite tired n disappointed.
being a human.
its really so tired.
if i can choose.
i rather become a pet.
at least less thing to worry about.
at least wont meet the situation like wat im facing now.
at least not so complicated in the animal's world.
i just want my life become more simple.

The problems with GUYS:

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;

If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.

If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;

If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.

If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;

If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.

If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;

If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.

If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;

If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)

If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;

If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.

If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;

If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.

If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;

If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u. (Bullshit)

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;

If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.

If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;

If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.

If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;

If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!! & sooo hard to please!!!!!

&

If the guys see this, they will say this is NOT TRUE,

but for me, this is truth.

I Spit on Your Grave

a very old movie (1978)
knew this movie from a magazine


its a violence + revenge movie

Magazine writer Jennifer Hills is writing her first novel, and decides to spend the summer in a cottage on a lake in the countryside, where she can write it undisturbed. One day, while Jennifer is relaxing in her canoe, 3 man capture her and brutally sodomize and rape her repeatedly. After she crawls back to her house they attack her again. She goes to church and asks for forgiveness, and then begins carrying out a plan to revenge. Then she killed the men who raped her.

hmm,wat a boring movie
is like watching a porn movie
geesh

waiting for call late last nite
in the end, there is no any from xx
this happen like wat i expected
how come there is still some disappointment

不習慣。不喜歡

天氣，還是一樣熱。
我，還沒習慣這個新地方。

plan to slp till afternoon only wake up
but the 'hotness' wake me up
whats wrong with da weather
i think its sick edi
it needs a doctor
so do i
i will burn soon
@@

really got nth to do here
my duty is to be a pig
my responsibility is slp, eat, slp, eat and slp and eat
tak boleh tahan lagi
oni 2 days didnt go out
but is like 2 years stay at home without step out from this hse
hope time can pass faster
amen

maybe
too bored + too hot = (frustrated + hot tempered)
no mood in da whole day
just feel so angry
angry him
angry that dodo
he is really XXXXXXX
dont want him anymore
blerk


piano.
i miss it.
darn.
i miss him.

Imsomnia.

nth to do in da whole day
bored
weather is really....nth can describe but HOT
yea..freaking hot
darn, im sweating altho im sit under the fan

A new environment here.
really cant get used to it.
cant sleep well last nite.
i thought its already around 7am but actually i woke up at 2am last nite.
and cant fall asleep again.
hope this wont happen again,
i dont want to count the biri-biri b4 i slp...

Back to town

after few hours trip,
finally i reach here.
dont know y everytime come back here i got some different feels each time.
Jb really change alot in this 2 years.
same to my home.
last month, my family has move to another house.
so, its my first time back to this hse...
felt quite weird.
cant really get use to it.
cant even remember the way back to this news hse,
so i think i wont go out all this while.
=(

waiting for someone call now =*)

Camwhoring @ Jogoya

*so in love with the dessert there

Memorable Night =)

Having a farewell at JOGOYA last nite.
i think its also the first dinner after group 1 n group 2 combine tgt.
29 of us, just left Cyrus cannot join us...
full of cuisine, full of joy...
camwhoring all the nite..teehee..
wanna say...
thanks to zi jian,he fetch me there & organize this rockx nite!
thanks to chie yong,he busy to take our photos!
thanks to Hon Meng,he sang & play guitar for us!
thanks to Kevince,he get me a white wine!
thanks to YinYing&Beeyean,they accompany me whole nite so i wont get lost!(i dont hv any sense of direction)
thanks to Ah Dai,he open the coconut drinks for us!
thanks to all of them, they make me happy all the nite!
A very Thank You to dearest classmate,
U all Rockx!!!!
but we gotta leave each other soon...
some of them stay at tarc,
some go for MMU,
some APIIT,
but no matter wer they go,
hope our frenship will last 4eva..
All the best to everyone in DEM3 in da future alrite!

p.s. JOGOYA nite's photo will be upload later.
p.p.s Guys & Girls, send me the photos as soon as possible k =)

tmr having the last test in diploma.
wish me luck to get an 'A' =D

and one thing...

thx shirlaine, u remind me of one thing in ur comment n ur blog,
im appreciate her to be our pm,
but i more appreciate her classmate's help.
he help her to done her job.
she know who is he.
and most of her classmate knew bout it too.
not only me feel that she is irresposible.

if u think all this will happen becuz of me,
then u r really wrong,
i couldnt ctrl wat ppl do,
now not im the oni one who dont wan to pay,
not im the one complaint bout her,
u can ask her to ask who in her class dont satisfy bout all this too.

and do u think i can let 29 ppl listen me and do like wat i said?
if she is really do a good job,
even i go n tell the whole world bout this or simply spread rumors,
no one wil bother me ok?
they have brain, they have eyes,
they are 20 or 20+ years old,
they can think,
they can analyze,
they will know wat i said is real o not,
i dont hv any power to control them at all.
somemore, this is the truth,
most ppl in the course know bout this,
not oni my class,
not only her class,
even some of group 1 student agree this too.

thx to define me as bitch or biatch,
this let me know something clearly.

Pls dont Argue cuz of Stupid thing...

Hey guys, pls dont argue in my blog lah...
i wrote this not to let u all argue one k...
let me state my point of view clearly...

First, maybe u r close to pink, but can u dont listen to one side word? maybe u should look at both side. Not only her is ur ex-coursemate. We r too. like wat u said, we are edi 20++, dont be so childish, look at the both side. listen to both side reason. only judge who was rite n who was wrong okie? Why dont we suddenly not willing to pay this lil amount? there must hv the reason, cuz we r paying every sem printing fees since year 1 like everyone did. Okie. If u r still in our course, u will notice there is some difference compare with year one. i admit that she did her job quite well in year 1. But do u still here in year 2? i dont think so. do u know she seldom come to lecture? do u know who is helping her to distribute all e notes? Kah Wah in Group 2. And do u know every first week of the new sem she is seldom come to lecture? Do u know when lecturer find her, she is always not there? Do u know the same lecture note she can print out a 2 different version with the same content jus different layout? Do u know some same content n same layout notes she can print out twice? And do u kknow that she can gav the supplier her student id and then supplier jus go in to CEL to print out the notes? Do u know sometimes we actually finish the chapter and we need a continue chapter to use in lecture but she is dont even know which chapter we had learnt and what notes we actually need now? Guys, do u rmb it? Is she done her job well? Becuz she is my fren too. i treat her as my frens and she is one of my bf gang. i used to hang out with them last time. i didnt said anything oso.

But since last sem when she said she owing supplier money and this sem oso owing supplier money and want to collect money from us again, i felt something wrong. and this suspicious thing not i realize it at the first place. is her own classmate state it out, only i realize. Is her own classmate do u know? But who is the classmates of her, im not convenient to mention her, i dont want to break their friendship. And for last sem when she collect money from us, donno is PM or treasurer said this is the last time to collect from us. dont u think this is a promise. for that time, aredi have lot of ppl dun willing to pay. but since they said is the last time collect money. So we're like forget it. we paid. But since she know she is still need us to pay in this sem, y should they said that. Becuz last sem money is use to settle nov debt. since she knew that dec still has another invoice, why should they said so?

And for the account thingy, we really cant understand about the account. its really quite thick. no lies. And ytd is our presentation. do u think when u having a presentation, u wont be nervous? Do u think when we having a presentation, we no need to hv some preparation before we go in front n talk? During this time, who will hv the patient to listen n check for the account? maybe u can, but we cant, really. we will get nervous b4 we present. we need to hav some preparation b4 we present. And when my fren dont want to look at those thick account, i took the account n try to look at it. i tried. u can ask PM n treasurer, i took it, n read it. but, i jus cant understand bout it.

And i had mention bout we had compared our fees with our junior. i really cnt think a reason y our supplier is actually same with them and yet we need to paid so much. We having the same subjects with them. Somemore the PM for junior has commission for around 700+ from a long sem. Can anyone answer me this?

And for our main reason we dont paid. have to say the same thing again. we need a good reason for y they use the money which they collected to paid those debt, and then they just stop collecting the money from those haven paid after they settle the debt? can anyone give me a reason? i had ask them bout it, y dont u all stop distribute the notes to those haven paid, u all sure hv a name list which had record who paid who din paid from every class rep, but i rmb they dont hv the list. And they said if they stop distribute notes to those didn't paid money one, they seems like very kesian when they dont hv the notes in lecture. They are kesian-ing those ppl who dont want to pay money. So how bout us? Do we deserve to pay for them? Our money is from parents and some need to work to earn money for some sch fees. Since we r in tarc, affordable n quality college. from this, u may know that we r not that rich compare to other college ppl. We dont deserve to paid extra money u know? maybe u dont think that there is some prob to pay for others, but we did. this is hardly seems fair. And they said they also pay the money. their money oso cover to those never paid. im speechless. they dont get it. Maybe they rich enuff to paid those fees. but we r not.

okay, for now, this sem, she said everyone paid for last sem printing fees, but what i know is there is someone in her class haven paid the fees for last sem. her classmate. same, i cant mention the name. i dun wan get her/him in trouble, they're frens. I asked that person, and that person admit that he/she still not yet paid it and she said he/she edi paid. is that person admit to me one. this wont be wrong. from this, she is too blur to handle money prob.

if i really need to type all out, it will be a long long long story. for me, i will pay to her, but i jus feel that they really need to apologize. And i know many of those who had paid is forced to be paid. this is wat her classmate told me. its true. they also told me a lot of thing. i know who they are, n i rmb what they had told me bout all this. they also not willing to pay but they are in the same class. i think she also should explain something to them maybe. i dont know. this is jus wat i think. Forced to be paid, its not good at all, at least explain to them, perhaps.

Maybe both side oso wrong. but i think those who jus listen to one side, for those who dont know everything clearly and then juz gv some rude comments, i appreciate urs opinion, but its time to learn, learn to see things clearly, and put urself in other ppl shoes.

A joke today...

For the printing fees,
my class still not everyone willing to pay it,include myself.

in the morning class,
they came in my class to collect it.
8 ppl paid it,
but there is another 22 ppl don't wan to pay.

reasons is:
1. they r too lcly.Come in my class still wan to say those lc thing. Come on, we having a presentation today, can u all dun come in n interrupt us?
2. we don't want unfair thing happen. last week treasurer n pm admit they use our money to cover those who didn't paid in the past. WTH. this will happen is becuz they didn't collect money from each of us in the beginning of semester. they wait others withdraw or change course or repeat or watever only they start to collect the money. when we ask them bout this, they said,'so wat, all of us oso paid wat.'...okie...is this a good reason? nope...i don't think all this will happen is becuz of us. they just don't want to admit they're not efficient, they didn't done their job and they are irresponsible. Hey, y don't the pm and treasurer apologize? Maybe we will pay cuz they're pitiful lah...can't get the money...so pm need to pay the amount which owing supplier with her printing commission...
3. our printing fees is so so so expensive compare to others. First, we compare our printin fees with other courses. Other course ppl paid RM60-RM80 altogether since first sem till now. they said dont wan to compare with other course becuz we having different subjects. ok, so we compare with DEM year 1 la. Our junior oni pay 30/15 on first sem, 15 for second sem and 5 for third sem. how bout ours? we paid 50 for first sem, 30 for second sem, 15 for 3rd sem. A huge difference!somemore the pm of DEM1 has 15% commission, but they pay less than us. Same subject leh!
4. They threaten us! They said they will take action for those who dun wan to paid. They find Ms.Connie and bla bla bla to take action against us. lolx. So wat? do we scare? i don't think so. We have the reason!and even our programme supervisor oso dont support them. Program Supervisor said the account is in a mess. if want her to pay, she oso not willing to pay it.

What i know is those who edi paid said:' they r forced to pay!' and some of them feel like refund, but this is jus impossible lah...So poor thing la them...PM..Say sorry to us lah...then maybe u can get all the money loh...

Work makes me so damn tired

working at pc fair on last fri, sat and sun.
its really tired to work there.
have to stand there since 11am to 9pm
oh gosh, kesian my leg especially my foot.
quite admire those who can wear high hill everyday.
hehe.
but i can learn many things from there.
cuz need to deal with many kind of customer.
there are really many kind of ppl in the world.

i like these customers:

• got one japanese uncle & auntie is very very nice. They listen to my explanation for the product carefully. wont ask those ridiculous thing. even if they return that product to me at sunday,but they still say sorry to me.hmm,maybe I am the one supposed to say sorry huh.
• those who wont ask many thing if they don't want to buy.There is many ppl dun feel like buying but keep ask a lot of thing, then in the end they said, 'ohh....i see...okie...im jus asking...i will walk around...', pls lah, dont want to buy then dont ask so much lah...waste ppl time n saliva oni...
• i like those customer who will buy that product from me without bargaining. of course, who oso like. lolx. but seldom have customer wont bargain lah especially in a fair like this. got one uncle, interest in gps. First, his son said that model is aredi outdated. okie... but after my colleague explain n explain, he feel like buying, then becuz he need to pay another 2% for credit card charge. he start to hesitate. then he start bargaining. ok, the price drop abit. but he still not satisfy, he want a lower price. wth. then boss decide not to sell to him. wahahaha. So, he walked away. When we start to simpan barang, wan close that time, he came back. And at last he bought it WITH CREDIT CARD. =.= his name on credit card is DATO' XXXXXX. see!!! he is a rich man!!!!! but, he is stingy. haiz.....
• those will give some response although he/she dont wan to come futher to listen to my explaination to the products. Not like some react lan lan c c.

really too many kind of ppl lah.

now oni know that,its really hard to earn money.

And becuz of this, i dont hv time to study for ITAM test today. Luckily i pass, thx to Michelle n Agnes, i pass it! Thx for this 2 pretty girl. i got 15/20. =p

The Emo One, pls get out of my way! PLS!

i jus dont like those too emo person.

those will emo for no reason.

angry for no reason.

if u got anything,

can u jus say it out?

do u noe ur dark face will spoiled ppl mood.

oh no.

not my mood.

i dont care this much.

but u can jus put on ur dark face,

n leave far far away from me,

becuz ur face make me puke.

Happy Birthday to ZiJian =)

Celeb Zi Jian's birthday at GreenBox.

now only realize that Mr. Rooney sings better than our class singer.

wahaha.

don't be too sad lah our dear singer.

dun cry in the toilet. =p

你是最好的，你知道吗？

wuahahahahhahahha....

别让后悔 变沉了一种折磨

和一位朋友聊完了之后

觉得两个人的世界

真的有些矛盾

为什么人与人之间会产生某些化学作用

是爱情吗

那为什么有一天他们会分开

是厌了吗

试过了的人

应该也不会知道吧

想对那个朋友说的是：

既然已经分开了

就别太执着着过去吧

不要让过去牵绊着你的为来

我想那些回忆

不管好或不好的

就学着放手吧

有个文章是这样说的：

“給了自己太多的假設性問題

是真心的嗎? 我配的上嗎? 會有結果嗎?

總是給了雙方太多的矛盾和不確定

我們讓愛變的很茫然

太多的猶豫不決

讓自己放了又收 收了又放

或許未來很遙遠

這些期待與夢想 你未必看的見

但它至少是個"可行性"的未來　

過去是一種回憶

你抹不掉也忘不了記憶

未來是個未知數

有太多無法預期的變數

如果 過去的 你過不去

未來的 卻又是遙不可及

你要不要先試著把這兩個煩人的東西暫且推開

別去想 別去問 別再庸人自擾 別讓自己愛的那麼矛盾

要 就勇敢的前進

不要 就馬上放開

站在原地的左右徘徊 是最折磨的

現在正在進行的 才是最值得我們用心去把握住的吧

時間 是最好的解藥”　　

我想

这篇文章的作者

已经给了你最好的解答了吧

I Need Somethin To Make Me Feel Better!

Life = Bored

hell ya.

Everyday just do the same thing repeatedly.

wake up > makan > school > makan > do something bored > sleep > wake up again again and again.

meaningless

Can i have something new in my life?

I just felt kinda bored.

What can make me feel better?

Money, perhaps.

i can go everywhere with this lil but powerful thing!

i can spend whenever i like when i got nothing to do!

i can have whatever i want to have!

i can bring something new & fun to my bored life now!

However,

not yet graduate means need to take $$ from parents,

need to take $$ from ibupapa means i gotta listen some history like, 'last time we dun even hv this kind of good life like u...bla bla bla...',

when this kind of history lecture happen again means i gotta runaway,

i runaway means i wont have any money from them.

conclusion : no job = no money

*sigh

I need some changes in my life.

desperately.

Another boring day.

2 more weeks then i will be graduated from diploma at tarc.

time pass so fast.

it's already 2 years i've been stay at kl.

now its time to think shall i stay at tarc for advanced diploma or switching to other college.

TARC advance diploma,

is this cert useful?

many of them say no.

i dun feel like stay at this coll cuz if i fail 2 times in the next 2 years,

i cant go uk for my degree anymore.

and it needs around RM35000+ to go uk.*=.=

Sch estimate it is only RM30000+,

but someone came back from there last years said those fees is underestimate.

wadahell!

Y this coll oways did such thing to make students stay.

愚人节的第二天

just only realize that ytd is April Fool =.=
maybe no one fool me so i dun even rmb it.
ytd no class n i stay at home whole day.
all heng dai ji mui in college dun hv chance to fool me =p

but there is a case.
on 1st Apr, Miss Soh call me and ask for WPD assignment.
She want me collect at least 3 of those assignment.
Omg. this is last year's assignment, who will keep it.
Is she serious bout this?
I have no idea,
Cause she had no reply when i told her i cant help her to get those assignment.
So dunno its for real or wat.

Many things to decide lately...
better to stay for advance dip or change to other college?
Should i go p. langkawi?

烦

p.s : 朋友，两年很快过的，加油，我相信你一定做得到 =）希望你离幸福越来越近！

dear.i wan to go out.